In Search of a Best Friend
by hmweasley
Summary: All Regulus wanted was to play Exploding Snap with Kreacher, but as he's reminded by his mother, you can't play with house elves.


**Content notice: emotional abuse**

* * *

Walburga was screaming about something. Little Regulus didn't know what had made her angry. When she got in such a state, the actual content of her words was drowned out by the volume at which they were said. He cowered in a corner as she paced, clutching his teddy bear to his chest. It was old, not unlike Grimmauld Place itself, but its worn features showed how loved it was, not something most of the Black family possessions could claim.

His mother hated the thing, but it was the only toy that brought Regulus comfort when he needed it the most.

"Stopping crying!" Walburga screamed, her deadly anger suddenly focused on Regulus.

He didn't notice that her wand was in her hand until she waved it through the air. The bear in his arms exploded in a mess of cloth and stuffing. Regulus cried out before he thought better of it, his hands quickly gathering up each piece he could reach though they fell out of his arms just as quickly.

Walburga's anger somehow intensified in response to his desperate actions. Regulus heard ceramic shatter, and he cowered against the wall again. Seconds later, Walburga was gone, leaving only the remnants of her rage behind. Regulus sobbed as he stared at his ruined teddy bear. It had been the closest thing he'd had to a friend, and it was gone.

"Don't cry, Master Regulus. Kreacher will fix Master's teddy."

Regulus' eyes widened as he looked up and found Kreacher hovering a few feet away. With a snap of Kreacher's fingers, the teddy bear reassembled itself as if Walburga had never destroyed it. Regulus let out a cry and lunged for it, clutching it to his chest. He vowed that Walburga would never set eyes on the bear again. He'd keep it safely tucked away in his room.

In a fit of emotion, he lunged for Kreacher, wrapping his arms around the elf and squishing the teddy bear between them. He sobbed, his fear from earlier still heavy in the pit of his stomach. Kreacher patted his back hesitantly.

"It's all right, Master Regulus. Kreacher fixed it," the elf said, voice rising as he tried to navigate a problem that he didn't understand, let alone know how to fix.

Regulus didn't have words to respond. All he could do was hold onto the elf and cry.

* * *

Regulus hunched over with his elbows digging in the carpet as he considered his next move. He tasted blood and realized that he'd bitten down hard on the inside of his cheek while he was concentrating. He'd won all but one of the games of Exploding Snap that he'd convinced Kreacher to play with him. His one loss had been the result of a massive mistake on his part, and Kreacher had been so shocked by his win that he'd cried and apologized to Regulus for it.

It had made Regulus smile, but he had no intention of letting it happen again. He knew that games were meant for winning.

The door to the parlor flew open and bounced off the wall. Regulus jumped and cowered backward as Walburga stalked into the room, her cheeks red and her chest heaving before her yelling had even begun.

"Kreacher, leave."

The quietness with which the order was spoken made it scarier than her usual screams, and Kreacher wasted no time in obeying. He disappeared from the parlor with a pop, with Walburga not bothering to glance at where he'd disappeared. Her gaze was fixated on the cards laid out on the floor. Regulus didn't understand why he saw disgust there. His mother had been the one to buy him the game after all, and she hadn't acted _that_ disappointed that neither of her sons had taken to wizard's chess like she'd hoped.

"Why are you playing games with a house elf?" she asked, spitting the words 'house elf' as if they were discussing a nasty parasite.

Regulus stumbled over his response.

"Sirius wouldn't play with me. Kreacher was the only one I could play."

Walburga shut her eyes, sucked in a deep breath, and yelled, "Sirius Orion Black, get in here," so loudly that Regulus clasped his hands over his ears. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath, leveling Regulus with an impassive expression.

"House elves are for housework," she bit out. "They're not for playing games. I don't want to see you involving Kreacher in such nonsense again. He has important things to do."

Before Regulus could respond, Sirius slunk into the room, looking far too unconcerned with why his mother had screamed his name through the house. He crossed his arms against his chest and leant against the doorframe in an undignified manner.

"You called?" he asked in his usual mocking tone of over the top politeness.

"Did you refuse to play with your brother?"

The accusation from Walburga did nothing to shake Sirius' calm. He shrugged and came further into the room to lean over the back of an armchair.

"I did," he said. "I wasn't aware that I'm obligated to play with him every single time he asks. Sometimes I have important things of my own to do, you know?"

Walburga's eyes narrowed as she stared at her oldest son.

"I caught him playing with Kreacher."

Sirius laughed, going as far as throwing his head back and clutching his stomach. He looked past Walburga to the cards still scattered across the floor.

"Did you?" he asked. "Exploding Snap? Too bad I missed it. I'd have loved to see a card explode in Kreacher's face. I'm sure it was quite the show."

"This isn't funny," Walburga snapped, getting right in Sirius' face.

He pulled a face but didn't otherwise respond to his mother's breach of his personal space.

"Play with him," she continued, stepping away from Sirius and heading towards the door. She turned around in the doorway to look at Regulus one last time. "If I ever find you playing games with that elf again, there will be greater consequences."

Regulus nodded as his mother disappeared.

As soon as he was alone with Sirius, different emotions began to find their way to the surface, namely embarrassment. It was no secret how Sirius felt about Kreacher, and in the past, he had repeatedly mocked Regulus for his treatment of the elf.

"Playing games with a house elf," Sirius said with a laugh. He threw himself across the sofa in a dramatic fashion, throwing one arm above his head. "Good job making Mother go off like that. I bet Kreacher pissed himself when she stormed in, huh?"

"It wasn't funny," Regulus muttered, gathering up the cards.

Despite Walburga's command, Regulus know he wasn't playing any Exploding Snap with Sirius. Even if Sirius had been willing, Regulus had lost his enthusiasm for the game.

"Why was she so against Kreacher playing with me?" he continued. Sirius may have mocked him, but he knew his brother wouldn't yell at him like Walburga, which gave him the confidence needed to ask what was bugging him most. "There's no one else to play with, and Kreacher's always willing. Why can't I play with him?"

Sirius pushed himself up on his elbows, staring at Regulus with one eyebrow raised.

"You know Kreacher doesn't actually want to play with you, right? He just has to do what he's told. If you told him to jump off a cliff, he'd do it. He isn't playing with you because it's fun; he's playing with you because you're his master and told him to do it."

Tears stung at Regulus' eyes. He'd never looked at the situation that way before. He had always assumed that they had mutual fun during their games. Kreacher had always acted like he was enjoying himself, or at least he had as much as Kreacher could enjoy anything.

"Stop," Regulus whined.

"No," Sirius said with a short laugh. "Because you should be able to handle the truth, Reg. Kreacher is a house elf. We tell house elves what to do, and they do it. That's the way things work. They don't just choose to do things because they find them fun. You have to stop acting like Kreacher is your friend. Forget Mother being embarrassed; you just can't be friends with an elf. It doesn't work like that."

One tear ran down Regulus' cheek, only to be quickly followed by more. Sirius sighed and collapsed onto the couch again, ignoring Regulus' silent tears.

* * *

Regulus twisted his hands together in his lap. He'd avoided being alone with Bellatrix since he was six and she'd hexed him only to blame it on a portrait. Somehow, she'd gotten away with it. (Mostly, Regulus suspected, because the adults had been impressed with her spell work.)

Even as a teenager, palms were sweating as his cousin smirked at him from where she was perched on the edge of one of the plush chairs in the parlor. In her hands, she gripped a cup of tea, sipping at it as if she'd come for nothing more than a casual social call.

"Uncle Orion says your O.W.L.s were decent."

Regulus' frown deepened. Some of them had been decent; others had been great. He didn't bother convincing Bellatrix of what. He knew that she was already aware of the exact scores he'd received.

"They were, but I didn't know you were concerned with my marks, Bella."

She set her cup carefully on the low table in front of her and reclined against the chairback. Regulus raised an eyebrow at the air with which she presented herself though they were in his home, not hers.

"Your marks aren't incredibly important to me personally," she said, "but they are important to the Dark Lord, if you are to join him."

Regulus' heart raced. He'd heard of the Dark Lord who Bellatrix was speaking of. There'd been whispers about him throughout Hogwarts for the past year, and his parents had made several comments over dinner as the public gradually became aware of what his aim was. But Regulus had never expected a notorious wizard to be asking about him.

"I'm only sixteen," he said carefully. "I have a year and a half of schooling left. Why is he even bothering thinking about me?"

"Having someone within Hogwarts itself is useful," Bellatrix said with a shrug. "We can't go in there ourselves, and I assured the Dark Lord that you were the perfect choice to be our eyes and ears while you're there. My hope is that you won't let us down."

Regulus swallowed. He had no idea what he was meant to do in order to satisfy a man who regularly murdered Muggles. Regulus had no desire to become a murderer before his graduation.

He also knew that he had little choice but to along with Bellatrix's plan for him, especially if the Dark Lord himself already knew of it.

"Of course I'll do it," he said, struggling to keep his voice level.

"There's just one tiny thing that I'm worried about," Bellatrix said, leaning forward to intimidate him. "If I recall correctly, you were a little too fond of house elves as a child."

While Sirius had openly mocked him for that as a child, Bellatrix hadn't had anything to say. He'd mostly figured that she'd forgotten about it. He sucked in a breath even as he struggled to keep his face an impassive mask. Mentally, he wondered where Kreacher was in the house and if there was any chance he was about to hear what Regulus had no choice but to say.

"I was a lonely child who used our house elf as a convenient playmate. That is all. As a Black, I know as well as you what the rightful place of elves is in society. They have but a fraction of the power we have and are good only for what we wish them to do. At one time, I wanted Kreacher to play games with me when no one else would. I still fail to see how that was a weakness on my part beyond the failings of any child who wants a playmate."

Bellatrix watched him closely until he shivered. Then a smirk appeared on her face, and she leaned back, allowing him to breathe again.

"Very well," she said with a wave of her hand as if his answer had never really mattered. "I'll pass onto the Dark Lord that you are an eager and willing servant. Just remember that I won't stand for you making any mistakes, Regulus. Our family's reputation depends upon it."

* * *

Regulus flipped through the pages of the book in his hand. It was one of his favorites, but he couldn't focus on it. His mind kept drifting to what the Dark Lord could be doing with Kreacher. He knew it wasn't safe to ask the question of his master, but there would be few restrictions on asking the elf as soon as he returned. Waiting was just a long, difficult process.

Suddenly, there was a crack and Kreacher was on the ground in front of him. The elf gasped for air, eyes wide as they shot around the room. Regulus reached for him, grasping him tightly as he began speaking.

"Master Regulus! Master Regulus!"

Large tears dripped down the elf's cheeks. He clung to Regulus' robes with a strength he wouldn't have dared use any other day.

"Kreacher?" Regulus asked, his own voice rising in panic. "What's wrong? What was done to you?"

"The Dark Lord made Kreacher drink," Kreacher rasped. "Kreacher did what the Dark Lord asked. Kreacher drank. Kreacher saw things. Bad, bad things. Then the Dark Lord left, and Kreacher cried. Kreacher cried and cried."

"The Dark Lord left you?" Regulus asked. He pulled the elf from his chest in an attempt to look at his face, but Kreacher only pressed back in with more force than Regulus had thought him capable of. "Kreacher, did he abandon you?"

"Kreacher doesn't know, Master Regulus. Kreacher drank like the Dark Lord asked. Kreacher was a good elf, but the Dark Lord left, and Kreacher didn't know what to do. But Kreacher had to come back to Master Regulus. Kreacher promised, so Kreacher came."

Kreacher's sobs increased to a pitch that made Regulus cringe. He wrapped his arms around the crying house elf and couldn't find it in himself to let go. The blood in his veins hummed with anger at the thought of Kreacher left alone to die.

"You're safe, Kreacher. I promise."

He wasn't sure if the elf heard him or not.


End file.
